Howard Langmead - social commentator, comedian & cleric
 
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Howard has been writing and performing stand up comedy since 1995.

He has performed on the pub circuit in Melbourne, at clubs, at churches of every denomination, and at community and corporate events.

He has regularly appeared in the Melbourne International Comedy Festival:

• 2008 - Struth
2004 - Sexing Up God
• 2003 - Humour Most Holy
• 2002 - Thou Shalt Laugh
• 2001 - Stand Up For Jesus!
• 2000 - Take My God Please!
1999 - Comedy in the Cathedral

From 1995 to 2000 he worked with Grant Broadbent-Smith as part of the successful skit comedy duo, The Ephods.

Howard was a founding member of 'Smash'n', a group of six comedians who wrote and performed Finally All Together At Last, as part of the Melbourne Fringe Festival 2001.

Howard's comedy covers every topic...

Children should be born with labels on them like: Handle with care. Do not expose to direct sunlight. Warm wash, do not tumble dry . Dispose of thoughtfully.

I took my guitar to a nursing home and discovered that my singing has healing qualities. The hearing impaired threw away their hearing aids, and those in wheelchairs got up and walked out by themselves.

There's a guy at church I can't get off my back. Last week I said to him, 'Isn't there something useful you can do today, Bishop?'

What is it with cats – why are they so resistant to baptism?

How come a colour blind person doesn't get a discount when they buy a colour TV? And how come the Paralympics didn't have a snooker competition for colour blind people?

There's a new number to beware of: 732.6. It's 666 plus GST!

I clean my house religiously. That means I do it at Easter and Christmas.

I pray a lot. Not because I'm a priest but because I do stand up comedy.

I believe in having a balanced diet. I take both Valium and Prozac.

Medical authorities now advise that some alcohol every day is good for your health. But they also say you should have at least one alcohol free day each week. I'm happy to have an alcohol free day, but where do you get alcohol free?!

See a list of Howard's speaking engagements and comedy gigs.